SETI Institute, searching for intelligence in the universe, has just recovered radio emissions from a far away galaxy containing a recording of this recent dialogue:
Mitch McConnell (MMc)
Paul Ryan (PR)
MMC : What crazy thing did he tweet at 3 AM this time?
PR: Something about North Korea and Russia merging in a deal that he brokered for hotel rights.
MM: That’s a good one. Has as much chance as his tweet the night before about Ivanka buying Ralph Lauren.
PR: Yeah. But let’s get serious here for a moment — in the interest of the party. He’s certifiable and he could cause global havoc any day now. So we’ve got to continue to protect ourselves and the Grand Old Party.
MMc: Absolutely. Any ideas?
PR: As a matter of fact, yes. Look, we’ve now got the presidency as a poweful vehicle for the Republican agenda. Why do we need the Trump-Bannon baggage on that vehicle?
MMc: You mean …?
PR: Yes. The Twenty Fifth Amendment.
MMc: Would Mike go for it? And the Cabinet?
PR: Mike, very quietly. Even more quietly than Gerry Ford when our forerunners were dumping Nixon. Of course, they didn’t need to use the Amendment.
In the Cabinet, we need a majority. I think Rex is ready for it; he’s already dizzy from having to implement the see-saw foreign policy. And Mattis and Kelly will probably buy in rather than having to manage a messy military coup. Ben will support it when we wake him. Betsy?
She’ll provide any out-of-pocket expenses.
If the Dems succeed in getting a strong independent counsel on the Trump-Russian connection (tell Jeff to relax on this), and the beans spill as they probably will — bingo, the tipping point on Crazy King Donald. Of course, we’ll have to be “dragged” into the investigations and his ousting so as not lose his base of the “disenfranchised” — as well as the true deplorables.
MMc: Has it ever been done in U.S. history?
PR: Well, we’ve never been faced with the country being kidnapped and violated by a megalomaniac. Aaron Burr tried. Coincidentally, he also got bogged down in Mexico.
Cornell Law Institute (in a non-partisan way) lays out the steps to get it done.
MMc: OK, put out the word, but sub-rosa, to key people in your House caucus and I will in the Senate. But, Paul, one caution.
PR: What’s that?
MMc : Keep Chaffetz out of it. He flips like a dolphin in Disneyland. Remember, when he said he couldn’t look his 15-year-old daughter in the eye if he were to vote for Trump? And then he voted for Trump. Poor kid.
PR: OK. Deal.
MMc: Now, I have to run. Elaine is waiting for me in the new driverless car. Nice perk for the Secretary of Transportation. I got one too, in Kentucky blue. In the Cabinet she’ll support our little cabal because she knows we can’t afford to lose control in 2018.